People who know what they’re talking about don’t need PowerPoint.
People who know what they’re talking about don’t need PowerPoint.
If we don’t cannibalize ourselves, someone else will.
This is Part Nine, the final chapter, of “The Agony and the Ecstasy of Steve Jobs” by Mike Daisey, the 2011 Trading 8s “Journalist of the Year”. If you haven’t been following along, I encourage you to start from the beginning. And, if at all possible, I encourage you to go see Daisey perform this masterpiece in person. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Spread the virus.
9. “A Virus of the Mind”
by Mike Daisey
I used to hear from Steve Jobs occasionally.
I don’t even think he knew I heard from him.
Because people who have sat in the seats you are sitting in right now, in theaters all over the world, sometimes, after they heard the words you have been hearing, sometimes, they would write to him.
And sometimes they would cc me and bcc me, and I would see hundreds of messages flooding out to a single fixed point, filled with questions. And sometimes, an answer would come back.
And sometimes, they would forward his answers to me.
And there were all kinds. Sometimes a short, sharp word, sometimes a link, sometimes a simple line of text:
“Mike doesn’t appreciate the complexities of the situation.”
And I looked on every message that came back with hope.
And I would keep my head down. And I would tell my story, night after night. In city after city.
And when tech journalists would let themselves be flown all the way to Shenzhen in the company of PR reps for Foxconn, and walk around the gleaming factories, and then write cover stories for glossy magazines without ever speaking to a single worker…
…I would keep my head down. And I would tell my story.
And when the press would ask Steve Jobs, “Steve, what’s up with Foxconn? What’s it like?” and Steve Jobs would say, “Gosh, it’s a factory, but it’s not like any factory we’ve ever seen. It has swimming pools and movie theaters—it’s amazing.”
I would keep my head down. And I would tell my story.
And when Apple would call journalists who had spoken to me, and tell them, “You know, I don’t know if you want to be associated with him. He’s kind of unstable. You know, he does work in the theater.”
I would keep my head down. And I would tell my story.
And tonight—we know the truth.
You can read it in the newspapers, it is humming in the radio, reflecting in the televisions, it is all across the net. Everyone is learning it, day after day. It is too large for any PR department to contain.
We now know that it is everything you have heard tonight and it is more. We now know that they knew. They always knew. They turned their back on their workers a long time ago.
And they squeezed their margins so tight that they made much of what you have heard tonight happen. And they made themselves the most profitable company in the history of the world.
And Steve Jobs—this genius of design and form—blinded himself to the most essential law of design: that the way in which a thing is made is a part of the design itself.
But you won’t forget that, will you?
You won’t forget that…because tonight is a virus.
It started in the first scene but you couldn’t feel it.
And by the third scene, it had jumped your firewalls and it’s been leaping from protected memory to protected memory all night long.
It’s been re-writing your code from the inside out and I’m letting you know now, you will never be rid of it.
It is inside of you, just like it’s inside of me, twisting and wriggling. And when these lights come up, when this theatrical construct falls away, it will still be in you.
You will carry it out these doors, you will be vectors for it. You will carry it to your homes, and when you sit down in front of your laptops, when you open them up, you will see the blood welling up between the keys. You will know that those were made by human hands. You will always know that. When you take your phones out outside to check the time, and the light falls across your face, you will know that it may have been made by children’s hands. You will know that.
And you will live with it. Just as I live with it. Just as we’re all going to have to start seeing it if we’re going to make the shift.
Tonight, the door is open if you want to walk through it.
Tonight we are jailbroken.
Tonight we are free.
7. “The Second Coming”
by Mike Daisey
At this point, people at Apple are excited about Scully. They feel like maybe it’s time for Apple to be a grown-up company.
What they don’t understand is that while Steve Jobs is kind of a megalomaniacal asshole and a little bit of a brutal tyrant, he’s also the glue that’s been holding the company together— and as soon as he leaves, it’s only then that people realize that Apple is filled with mad geniuses.
Thousands and thousands of mad geniuses! And as soon as Steve Jobs is out the door, they’re all going,
“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Finally! My plan will come to fruition! I will finally mate a monkey and a pony! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
And Scully? What’s Scully doing? Scully’s walking up and down the halls going,
<<in an excessively low-key Scully voice>>
“Hey…does anybody want to ship anything? Okay, well…let me know if you want to ship anything. I’ll be in my office, drinking a Pepsi.”
And all the rigor goes out of the place and things start getting real weird, real fast. And pet projects that should stay small start getting bigger and bigger and bigger because there’s no one there to knife the baby. Like the time that Apple tried to create its own version of the internet…yeah, that didn’t go very well.
Or, most famously, the Newton.
And the Newton is a tale of heartbreak for the ages because the Newton was a fantastic machine. The Newton was a personal electronic organizer—and when you tell people that they say, “Oh, like the Palm Pilot?”
Noooooo. Fuck the Palm Pilot—the Palm Pilot was made of Legos and bullshit.
The Newton was amazing. The Newton could understand your fucking handwriting; you’d just write whatever you wanted, it’d automatically put it in the address book, in the calendar…
It was the future! In your hand!
Except…it didn’t work.
And they tried, oh my GOD, they tried, and they delayed it and delayed it and they finally ship it, and all the Apple faithful run out and buy it and they’re like, “My precious!,” and they take it home, “Honey, honey, come see this! I’ve got the future, in my hand! Watch this: <<mimes writing onto the Newton>> Doctor’s appointment at 2pm tomorrow.”
And the Newton says…
<<studying the Newton with great consternation and a palpable sense of loss>>
“That isn’t what I wrote…
…I don’t know why the future isn’t working… Maybe it’s me.”
Because in this, Apple users are a little bit like battered wives.
They blame themselves: “I can change! I can change my handwriting so that the Newton likes it! I know that we can have a relationship, I have to make it work!”
<<now writing the same script, but grotesquely exaggerated >>
DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENT AT 2 PM TOMORROW!
And the Newton says…
This is the era of the PowerBook 5300—the flaming PowerBook. I don’t mean that your laptop gets warm or it gets hot—I mean actual fucking fire comes out of the keyboard! Your laptop bursts into flames! They recall them all, they replace the batteries…now, they do not burst into flames, but they only get seventeen minutes of battery life.
This is the era when on Apple’s early internet website, they have an actual, approved troubleshooting tech note telling users to take the affected machine, hold it six inches over the surface of the table…and drop it.
Doesn’t. Inspire. Confidence.
At this point, Apple is fucked. No tech company has ever come back from a deficit like this. WIRED magazine actually does an entire issue called “The Death of Apple” and it’s filled with obituaries written by prominent tech pundits mourning the fact that Apple is gone. And Apple is in the humiliating position of having to issue a press release in response saying,
“Ha-ha-ha, actually, it’s ok, everything is really ok, ha-ha-ha.”
It’s like a Viking funeral where the Viking is saying,
“Oh! Actually, I’m okay! I think I’m okay!”
And everyone else says, “No, you’re not,” and they push the barge out onto the lake and they set it on fire.
And at this point, the unlikeliest savior appears:
Apple asks Steve Jobs to come back.
And if you’re like me…
…don’t you wish we could’ve heard that phone call?
<<in the manner of Bob Newhart’s famous one-sided phone calls>>
“Hey, Steve! Long time no see!…Yeah, it’s been about twelve years <<listening>> since we threw you out the company, that’s right, that’s right. But you’ve been busy! Yes, we’ve been busy, too <<listening>> running the company into the ground, that’s right, that’s right.
Listen, Steve. The board has asked me to call you to ascertain if you’d be interested in the possibility of…
<<puts hand over receiver and gesticulates wildly to other board members, miming a silent argument with them, begging them to talk to this asshole in the crassest terms. After a standoff, returning to the phone>>
—the board has asked me to call you to ascertain if you would be interested in the possibility of—
<<as before, but even more animatedly, with weeping and agitas, until being dragged back to the phone to say through gritted teeth>>
Because each side has exactly what the other side needs.
Apple…needs Jesus Fucking Christ.
But He is not available…
…so Steve Jobs will have to do.
They also need a working next-generation operating system, because while they were busy pissing away hundreds of millions of dollars trying to mate a manatee and a walrus, they forgot to make a working next-generation operating system.
Meanwhile, Steve Jobs in his years in exile has actually created his own computer company in his own image: NeXT Computers.
And NeXT Computers sort of embodies everything that is both fabulous and frustrating about Steve Jobs. It’s sort of like a narcissism supernova of Jobsian id.
On the fabulous side, the operating system is amazing: it’s the world’s first object-oriented operating system. It’s literally ten years ahead of its time. The thing about things that are ten years ahead of their time? Is that they are ten years ahead of their time.
So they’re not compatible with fuck-all that you are using today.
On the frustrating side, this is Steven P. Jobs, a man who does not know the meaning of the word “compromise.”
His idea of a reasonable computer to break into the crowded computer market of the late 80s is the NeXT Cube.
Which is a solid black cube of milled magnesium.
It is a TRIUMPH of industrial design.
It is compatible with NONE of your peripherals!
It can run NONE of your software!
And it costs FOURTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!
It doesn’t do very well. It really doesn’t do very well, and at this point, NeXT has no assets to speak of except for a kick-ass next-generation operating system. And so Apple acquires NeXT—but in reality, it feels a little bit more like tiny little NeXT somehow swallows up Apple.
Steve Jobs comes back and in one of his first orders of business, he makes some subtle changes to the board of directors so that this shit will never happen again. Then he installs his lieutenants to take control, and he interviews everyone at Apple, looking for diamonds in the rough—this is how he finds Jonathan Ive, a junior industrial designer. He promotes him up and a new order begins to take hold.
The Mac OS with its smiling Mac face and its friendly error messages…they take it out behind the barn and they shoot it in the back of the head, and they throw its body in a ditch.
And they take the NeXT operating system, which, as I told you, was ten years ahead of its time, well…it’s ten years later. So it’s right on schedule.
They transplant it into the heart of the Mac and it becomes Mac OS X—it becomes the system that runs all of Apple’s devices today.
And a new Apple begins to rise. An Apple that’s more design-driven, more focused, more ruthless, more elegant, more…secretive. The old Apple was practically an open shop, you could just ask people what was going on and they would tell you. Now, the gates are closed, the doors are shut, no one knows what the fuck is going on in there in Cupertino. It’s like Willy Wonka after Slugworth.
And then devices start coming out that the old Apple never would have thought of— lifestyle devices, like little boxes that play all your music, and they’re compatible with Macs and PCs, and they spread out like a halo around the world, changing people’s ideas about what Apple is as a company.
And then, when Jobs showed us the iPhone…those of us who follow technology could feel here was the metaphor, shifting again. Here was the new new thing. Gone is the cursor, gone is the windowing interface—it’s so simple, even a child could use it. But the changes go much deeper than that. Every device that runs that touch interface is locked down. You will never touch that operating system, that belongs to Apple and Apple alone. You will never install your own programs on those machines, instead you will download them from Apple’s servers, and Apple will choose what is available and take a healthy cut of each and every proceeding. Unless you jailbreak those devices, you will never truly own them.
And a walled garden begins to rise up around all the Apple users who frolic and play…and a new deal is struck between Apple and its users and the terms of the new deal are:
<<In the voice of Apple—Zeus meets Charlton Heston>>
WE ARE APPLE. Have we not always given you the very finest devices? Have we not given you the best user experience?
We did that because we have exquisite taste.
We have exquisite taste.
And you…do not.
We are going to protect you from your taste.
We are going to lock this shit down once and for all. And let’s be clear—you’re going love what’s coming next, but this is the end of the garage, this is the end of hacking your own shit, this is the end of Wozniak—this is the rise of the consumer.
And that will be your role. You will consume.
You will drink from Apple’s servers—it will be a new virtuous circle between each of you and the corporate entity that is Apple, you will be tied together, and with each app you download you will be bound even more tightly.
But you will not mind…because you will never leave. Why would you leave? They’re the very best devices in the world, are they not?
You will use them, and you will love them.
You will love them, and they will own you.
Tomorrow: “Part Eight: The Secret Union”
6. “Where All Our Shit Is Made”
by Mike Daisey
Emboldened by my success at Foxconn, I decide to embark on a new plan. But I’m going to need Cathy’s help if it’s going to work, so I meet with her in the lobby of my hotel and I say to her,
“Cathy, now you work with a lot of American businessmen, don’t you?” And she says, “Yes, I do.” And I say, “Great. Here’s what I want you to do: I want you to call all of the factories you have connections with, I want you to call them, and I want you to tell them that I am an American businessman, and that I want to buy whatever they are selling.”
And she listens to this, and she says, “But you…are not a businessman?”
And I say, “That’s true, I am not a businessman.”
And she says, “And you…aren’t going to buy their products?”
And I say, “That’s true. I am not going to buy their products.”
She says, “You…will lie to them.”
And I say, “Yes, Cathy. I’m going to lie to lots of people.”
And for a moment, I think it isn’t going to work.
And then you can actually see the idea leap the synaptic gap from a Problem to a Problem-To-Be-Solved.
<<very slowly, carefully, clearly, and quietly>>
“You…are going to need a lot…of business cards.”
And two days later we head out into the factory zone. As we come to each factory, Cathy briefs me on what it is they make and what it is I have said I am going to buy.
The factories are all different, but really, they’re more similar than different—there’s always gates and guards, you get past those there’s always a lawn, big and green and plush—no one walks on it, no one uses it. You go into the lobbies—the lobbies are these huge, empty Kubrickian spaces, totally empty except for a tiny little desk for the receptionist. You cross the HUGE empty lobby to the tiny little desk, introduce yourself, and then the executives always come down in a gaggle loolololo all together loololoololo they pick you up loololoololo and you go up together loololoololooloolooloolo to a conference room. For the exchanging of the business cards.
And Cathy had told me this would be very important, that when we got in that room it’d be very formal, and each person would come up to me in turn and they would offer me their business card with two hands, and it was very important that I accept it with two hands, and that I then examine it:
“Mmmmmmm…Lucida Grande. Excellent font choice. Mmmmmmmm…”
And after each and every one of them have done this, they are all staring at me. Because it’s my turn. And I reach into my pocket and I pull out…some grimy slips of fucked-up paper.
Because it’s hard to find a Kinko’s in Shenzhen!
And the business office at my hotel, it’s like it’s from before the fucking revolution, and the woman there is totally scary, and the keyboard doesn’t make any fucking sense, and the paper is slimy and gray, and they don’t have scissors, they’re like child safety—it’s so fucked up. I don’t even know how to tell you how fucked up it is.
It’s really fucked up.
And so I take…my fucked-up piece of paper, and I go…
<< holds out card with two hands while turning face away in embarrassed grimace >>
Thank God for the protocol of the Chinese! They do not even blink. They take my fucked-up piece of paper and they go, “Mmmmmmm…interesting made-up business name with fake address. Mmmmmmm…” And then, it’s time for the PowerPoint.
And one of the reasons I have lived my life in the manner that I have is so that I do not have to go to PowerPoint presentations.
That was sort of the fucking point of all this.
But life has its little ironies sometimes, doesn’t it?
And I made up for it in Shenzhen…oh, yes I did. Because I went to all the PowerPoint presentations. Every last fucking one of them, because PowerPoint is a tool designed by Microsoft.
Microsoft, whose motto should be, “Building Tools That Do Shit We Can Already Do.”
Because the point of PowerPoint is that it enables people who are in the same room to communicate with one another.
<<a gesture indicating this process>>
As you can tell from the form of my theatrical presentation, I believe we have a tool that does that already: it’s called the human voice. It’s built-in and it hardly ever crashes.
But why would we want to talk to one another when instead we can use PowerPoint with all its fucking features—like the clip art? AARRRGH…the clip art makes my eyes bleed!
And the fonts! Ohhhhhh, they use all the fonts! Comic Sans?
There’s nothing comic about Comic Sans.
They put up the first slide, and it’s got a big jpeg that’s all pixilated, like someone’s smacking me in the retina with a ball-peen hammer. And then the person running the PowerPoint goes <<slowly and deliberately hitting a mouse button>> …clllliiiiick. And a single line of text appears, in English, and the text says,
“The plant uses thirty thousand gallons of water every day.”
There’s a pause.
And then the click-er says:
“The plant uses thirty thousand gallons of water every day.”
!!! And then nothing happens! Until and unless—I manually nod. I have to literally go,
<<big, exaggerated nod>>
“Mmmmmm . . . ”
And only then will they…clllliiiiick, and another line of text appears.
It’s fucking interminable! It goes on and on—I swear to God there are nights I wake up in the middle of the night, even now, thinking,
“Is it still going on? Am I still at the presentation?”
It goes on for so long I seriously start thinking about the fact that I am an “actor” playing the “role” of an American businessman…
There are actual businesspeople out there! For whom this is their actual life!
How does that happen to someone?! You go to school, you fall in love, and this, this, THIS is what you’re spending your one precious life on?
What the fuck happened to you?!
They must have a penknife in their pockets, you know, just for luck, just for something to hold onto, just so they can rub it as the slides are going by, just so they can know that if it ever gets to be too much, if it ever gets to be too fucking much, then they can STAB themselves in the FUCKING neck, and it will be over.
Worst job in the fucking world.
After the PowerPoint, we head down to the factory floor. And I retract my previous assertion because this is the worst job in the fucking world.
Industrial spaces with twenty, twenty-five, thirty thousand workers in a single enormous space, they can exert a kind of eerie fascination—there’s a beauty to industrialization on such a massive scale. You don’t have to deny it—there’s a wonder to seeing so much order laid out in front of you, and people are walking around whispering statistics in your ear, it’s easy to slip into a kind of Stalinist wet dream. I try to subvert that by locking onto actual faces as they take me up and down the aisles. And the first thing I notice is the silence.
It’s so quiet.
At Foxconn, you’re demerited if you ever speak on the line, at no factory that I went to did anyone ever speak on the line—but this is deeper than that.
As a creature of the First World, I expect a factory making complex electronics will have the sounds of machinery, but in a place where the cost of labor is effectively zero, anything that can be made by hand is made by hand.
Rest assured, no matter how complex your electronics are they are assembled by thousands and thousands of tiny little fingers working in concert, and in those vast spaces the only sound is the sound of bodies in constant, unending motion.
And it is constant. They work a Chinese hour, and a Chinese hour has sixty Chinese minutes, and a Chinese minute has sixty Chinese seconds—it’s not like our hour.
What’s our hour now? Forty-six minutes? You have a bathroom break, and a smoke break, and if you don’t smoke, there’s a yoga break…
This doesn’t look anything like that. This looks like nothing we’ve seen in a century. They work on the lines and a line only moves as fast as its slowest member, so each person learns how to move perfectly, as quickly as possible—if they can’t do it, there are people behind them, watching them, and there are cameras watching both sets of people, and people watching the cameras—they lock it down. They sharpen it to a fine, sharp edge, every hour, and those hours are long.
The official workday in China is eight hours long. That’s a joke. I never met anyone who’d even heard of an eight-hour shift. Everyone I talked to worked twelve-hour shifts, standard. And often much longer than that: fourteen hours a day, fifteen hours a day, sometimes when there’s a hot new gadget coming out—you know what the fuck I’m talking about— sometimes it pegs up at sixteen hours a day and it just sits there for weeks and months at a time, month after month of straight sixteens—sometimes longer than that.
While I’m in country, a worker at Foxconn dies after working a thirty-four-hour shift. I wish I could say that was unusual, but it’s happened before. I only mention it because it actually happened while I was there.
And I go to the dormitories. I’m a valuable potential future customer: they will show me anything I ask to see.
The dormitories are cement cubes, ten foot by twelve foot—and in that space, there are thirteen beds. Fourteen beds. I count fifteen beds. They’re stacked up like Jenga puzzle pieces all the way up to the ceiling. The space between them is so narrow none of us would actually fit in them—they have to slide into them like coffins. There are cameras in the rooms, there are cameras in the hallways, there are cameras everywhere.
And why wouldn’t there be? You know when we dream of a future when the regulations are washed away and the corporations are finally free to sail above us, you don’t have to dream about some sci-fi-dystopian-Blade–Runner–1984-bullshit. You can go to Shenzhen tomorrow— they’re making your shit that way today.
And you need to know that these people are among the best and brightest of their generation. You need to know that when I interview them outside the factories, they are, each of them, as bright and individual as you are out there in the darkness. You need to know these are exactly the people who fought their way out of their villages, to make a new life for themselves in these cities. These are exactly the people who could have the spirit to think about democracy.
But, fortunately for Beijing, they have a heat sink in the south of the country, they have an economic honey trap that soaks up all those people and keeps them busy, too busy to think about freedom, too busy making all our shit.
When I leave the factories I can feel the metaphor shifting underneath me. I can feel myself being rewritten from the inside out; the way I see everything is starting to change.
I keep thinking, how often do we talk about how we wish more things were handmade?
Oh, we talk about that all the time, don’t we?
“I wish it was like the old days, I wish things had that human touch.”
But that’s not true. There are more handmade things now than there have ever been in the history of the world. Everything is handmade. I know. I have been there. I have seen the workers laying in parts thinner than human hair, one, after another, after another.
Everything is handmade. If you have the eyes to see it.
Tomorrow: “Part Seven: The Second Coming”