Quote of the Day: David Glasner

So what’s that you say, Galileo? The sun is stationary and the earth travels around it? You must be kidding! Why any child can tell you that the sun rises in the east and moves across the sky every day and then travels beneath the earth at night to reappear in the east the next morning. And you expect anyone in his right mind to believe otherwise. What? It’s the earth rotating on its axis? Are you possessed of demons? And you say that the earth is round? If the earth were round, how could anybody stand at the bottom of the earth and not fall off? Galileo, you are a raving lunatic. And you, Mr. Einstein, you say that there is something called a space-time continuum, so that time slows down as the speed one travels approaches the speed of light. My God, where could you have come up with such an idea? By that reasoning, two people could not agree on which of two events happened first if one of them was stationary and the other traveling at half the speed of light. Away with you, and don’t ever dare speak such nonsense again, or, by God, you shall be really, really sorry.

— David Glasner, parodying Stephen Moore’s latest WSJ article (Federal Trade Commission)

The 2010 Trading 8s “Journalist of the Year” Award

“Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?” — Groucho Marx

Harold Camping was right all along.

Last month, Camping predicted the Rapture would begin on May 21. Good Christians would go to Heaven, and the rest of the Earth would suffer until the End of the World on October 21.

May 21 came and went. No one was “assumed” into Heaven. No earthquake at 6pm, as he had predicted. No death and destruction since — at least, no more than usual.
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You may think this disproves Camping’s theory. You silly rational dufus.

Don’t you get it? The Rapture happened. You just couldn’t see it!   Continue reading “The 2010 Trading 8s “Journalist of the Year” Award”