Palestine/Israel: A Modest Proposal

by Reese Schonfeld

The cleverest man I have met in the last two years (he had been recruited by the NSA or CIA or DARPA after 9/11 as an “Imagineering” genius), told me that America will never succeed unless we legalize drugs and end our support for Israel. I don’t know what to do about drug running, but today’s news brings me back to the Israeli question. Is it possible for US government to abandon Israel entirely? I don’t think so. But I have another thought, and it’s almost as impossible as the first, but given the current state of the world, it might just work.

Let’s suppose the Obama administration enlists Saudi Arabia, the Gulf States, and all the other oil rich nations and gets them to contribute enough money to buy Israel back from the Jews. The Israelis could then take the money and use it to buy 10,0000 sq. miles of land in Greece, Portugal, Spain, Ireland or one of the other European countries that have gone broke. The country that sells the land would have to give sovereignty, but would end its status as a debtor nation, put its people back to work, and regain their independence from Angela Merkel.

The deal benefits all the parties: it gets the US off the hook about Israel, it permits the Palestinians to return to their homeland, which will be in far better condition then when they left it.  The other Arab nations will get the Palestinians off their backs, Israelis will no longer have to worry about suicide bombers and rockets from Gaza and the lucky state that sells the 10,000 sq. miles will be free at last.

The deal makes so much sense that I’m sure it will never be consummated. Orthodox Israelis will never give up what they consider to be their Holy Land.  No Arab coalition has held together since the Turks rolled into the Middle East 600 years ago. No European country has sold 10,0000 sq. miles of its land to another country since Napoleon completed the Louisiana Purchase. So I am forced to admit that this proposal to put an end to the Palestinian question is unlikely to be adopted. But that doesn’t mean I won’t pray for it.

Quote of the Day: Glenn Greenwald

The U.S. has long had Iran virtually encircled as a result of the American occupation of Afghanistan on Iran’s Eastern border, its invasion of Iraq on its Western border, its NATO ally Turkey hovering on Iran’s Northwestern border, some degree of military relationship with Turkmenistan on Iran’s Northeastern border, and multiple U.S. client states sitting right across the Persian Gulf (Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, the UAE, and Bahrain, where the massive U.S. Fifth Fleet is stationed). Additionally, some combination of the U.S. and Israel has bombarded Iran with multiple acts of war over the last year, including explosions on Iranian soil, the murder of numerous Iranian nuclear scientists (in which even one of their wives was shot), and sophisticated cyberattacks… In the past decade, the U.S. and/or Israel have invaded, air attacked, and/or occupied Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, Somalia, Yemen, Libya, Lebanon, Sudan, Syria, the West Bank and the Gaza Strip (to say nothing of the creation of a worldwide torture regime, a system of “black site” prisons around the world to which people were disappeared, and a due-process-free detention camp in the middle of the Caribbean Ocean where many people remain encaged for almost a full decade without charges). During this same time period, Iran has not invaded, occupied or air attacked anyone. Iran, to be sure, is domestically oppressive, but no more so — and in many cases less — than the multiple regimes funded, armed and otherwise propped up by the U.S. during this period. Those are all just facts.

But — despite all of these facts — all Serious people in the U.S. know that Iran is the Aggressor, the Modern Nazis, a True Menace, while the U.S. and Israel are its innocent peace-loving victims.

— Glenn Greenwald (Salon)